Recently, a good friend spent a week feeling like something was off, wasn’t feeling joy in her life, and was feeling more frustrated even about little things. After a week of feeling this, she broke down. She knew something was wrong but didn’t know what it was or how to fix it. A couple of days later, after going for a long run, she came back inspired. She felt better and finally could put her finger on it. She was so busy the past couple of weeks with her job, her children, and all the little emergencies that pop up in our days, that she forgot about herself. She had great routines but let go of them to take care of what she thought was most important.

I talked about this last week for myself as well. I was feeling like my work didn’t matter. That it seemed all fluff and there was no purpose to it. I was in the middle of a project where things get tough and problems need working out and the end seems nowhere near. But I realized taking care of myself was the real problem. Doing the routines and things I know I need to feel joy, inspiration, and motivation.

Self care is super important, now as it ever was. If we aren’t caring for ourselves then it seeps out to other people and if we are trying to care for others, it becomes a burden and difficult.

The project I’m working on right now is all about self care. Those things we can practice or cultivate that bring joy into our being. It’s about looking inward and doing things for yourself that help you be the person you want to show up for the people in your life. Because you can’t show up as that person if you aren’t taking care of yourself.

I thought I’d share my favorite 4 ways I cultivate self care in my life and 2 bonus quick things that will boost my mood.

1) Quiet time. And I mean quiet as in, no music, no tv, nothing that might distract me. I sit in silence – and I usually need at least 30 minutes of this a day or I feel off. Ideally it would last an hour for me and I have small routines that I go through as I do this but the important point is time alone without distraction of any other human being. 

You may be asking what do I do during this time? This is extremely personal and you have to find your own way if quiet time appeals to you. Mine is cobbled together from many other people explaining what they do during their quiet time, so I think it’s helpful to always hear ideas.

I begin first by journaling out anything I feel needs to be out of my head – to dos, things bugging me, questions, ideas. Julia Cameron calls this the morning pages in her book The Artist’s Way. I find it useful now to clear my mind – it likes that I’ve written all the stuff in it down. Then I find my center. After some meditation, I read 2 chapters in the Old Testament, a Psalm, some Proverbs, and 1 chapter in the New Testament. Then I meditate for a little more on what I’ve read. Then I write down my gratitudes, affirmations and big dreams and goals. If I have time, I read a little from whatever book I’m reading that is making me think.

2) Gratitude practice – I write down 3 things every day I am grateful for – and I try to make one of them a future thing. I’ve heard that this is singularly the best thing you can do to bring joy to your life. And I believe it. I find it to be transformative. And for me it has to be the act of writing.

3) Affirmations – these change and usually include goals I want to achieve but the practice of writing them down helps ground me when I get in my head about who I am or who I’m not. Or what I believe. Lately my affirmations have included “Today is going to be a great day” and “I have plenty of time.” I think I usually let myself into a poverty mentality when I begin looking at all the things I need to do and want to do and feel like I just don’t have time. I stress out and get snippy. So I’ve incorporated this affirmation and it has supremely changed the way I look at my planner.

4) Creating Art– if I turn to it, it always makes me feel better. Even when it’s hard to get started what pushes me to do it is the uplifting mood I always get from creating art. Maybe I should call this working in my purpose instead. When I’m doing what I know I’m supposed to be doing it’s fulfilling. And I don’t mean fulfilling because I get validation from the outside world for it. Actually it’s fulfilling because it’s what I’m supposed to do. I just know it from the center of myself and when I do it I am fulfilled, even if no one else cares. The fact that other people do care is amazing – and makes it even more fulfilling because my purpose is of service to others. So instead of saying creating art I should instead say working in my purpose.

Bonus: Exercise– sometimes its only 15 minutes but it makes a difference. And Music – it is always transformative in my mood and outlook.

So, that’s it. My must do self care routines. It takes discipline and practice but when we are disciplined to show up each day for our own selves it becomes much easier to show up for others.